Saturday, December 22, 2007
Happy Blah Blah Blah Holidays/New Year
I haven't posted forever you say?
You've given up reading this blog completely you say?
Well too freakin' bad!
Even the beautiful people have to work sometimes.
I am in fact proof of this.
Sort of...
So, I tried to post this three days before Christmas but guess what Blogger is glitchy!
So I'm trying again!
It is nearly 2008!---- Actually it is New Year's Eve. ^ It says 'Dec. 22' but that is a lie. That was the first time I attempted this post, and now I have to slightly alter it. Whatever shall I do?!!
Hope it will be great! (Talking about 2008 again)
Before it's too late!
Uh..
Working on my music
still
Starting my winter session class in a few days
I am sleep deprived, and cannot spell but I wanted to say that I hope Christmas was lovely for you and your family and have a great New Year.
I am taking time out of my busy schedule to do this people! (As if I had anything better to do at this moment)
Listen!
Are you listening?
huh?
Hello?
Yes, no, 42 1999, big lots, pine needles?
Good.
My holidays:
Thanksgiving was nice... no yucky turkey this year. Instead I enjoyed some fab salt free cuisine. (haha almost spelled quisine with a 'q'. Oh wait... I just did.)
DON'T EAT SALT!
EVER!
IT WILL GIVE YOU KIDNEY STONES!
Well maybe or maybe not...
But I had a good Thanksgiving.
Then finals, work, school, college transfer shiznit, etc. uh and a spider.
Ok... then Hawaii--- aka the best place in da world
Ka Lae Kilohana--- aka the best place in da world
And I wish I was still there.
Now I'm back...
to square one.
Christmas was nice. I spent some time with my family, who ROCK.
I got a guitar from my awesome band mate and brother which ROCKS.
Yay!
I love music.
I think...
Unless this is some parallel universe where we only think but do not realize.
Or some crazed funky ass shit in my head that the whole wide world plays along with my fantasy that it is random like in "Lars and The Real Waste of Money"
Um...
Check my vids
www.youtube.com/wildwoodflower16
And I am FINALLY in the process of booking a studio AGAIN now that I know the guitar school people have an illusion of studio that the villager dwellers play along with...
But not me, I know it's fake.
Look for Sodium Free,
my bro Randall and I play Alternative-folk-country-rock for your musical pleasure.
Is that enough advertising?
No.
Of course not.
It's the 'holiday season', not Earth Day.
Goodbye 2007
A year of improvment
Success
Hardships
Time management issues
Mental disorders
music
film
college
fun
travel
new friends
and secret crap of a forbidden nature
etc.
Go see "Into The Wild" it's better than "Juno" or some crap.
Eat salt free food
I love Sea Lab
I am tired
Somebody tuck me in...
Mommy?
Is that you?
But you know what they say
"I've never been to iceland but I've passed it on my way to Holland."
And that, children is the meaning to life.
No... wait
Reese's is...
uh, are
No, carrots...
mmmmmm, with their oh so delicious beta caratine!
Or is it the writing of this person I don't know at all...
www.geniedavis.com
Or could it be...
that I'm trying to say
Thank you friends, new, and old, and future
And my family
And all you other people
I hope you have a wonderful New Year full of happiness and health.
And cat barf under you tree.
Indubitably.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
I Do Say, What The Fuck?
Uh-oh! I forgot to sensor my title! No! Now the sensor committee thing is going to b&^%p out A!! Th* norm&l word$ and d#stroy my bl0g. Don’t you just love America? Haha...
‘Ello sweet reader person/people or cat/dog/secretary/hermaphrodite/food product/magazine coupon/parking lot police
Time to learn! I recently took the SAT and am still good n’fresh on my vocab! I thought everyone, (or no one judging by the number of hits I’ve gotten,) could stand to be enlightened with marvelous marvels of the English language. That’s right!
And by the way, these words are copyrighted! So you can’t use them without paying me a thousand dollars first! And for the record, I used all of these words in class so they’re pretty damn spiffy. And to be fair, most of the fancy words I used to impress others were real, so I actually are a genius! Hee-hee.
B-U-T... I is also creative. Hell yes. A creative inventor I is. So enjoy reading my “not fake at all” vocab journal words.
Chronogilate- The obsessive need to label events in the order that they occurred.
D.P.U.C- Directional protection unit commission.
Humlick- A traffic delay surrounding a roundabout.
Subgrenier- The lower levels of a house and or building below the attic.
Binafilism- A puzzling phrase of terms.
Nundenation- A negative situation.
Well, I know y’all feel smarter now that you have read these definitions. One thing had been bothering me about them for a long time though. What the hell is the point of a vocab journal anyway?! I mean a vocab sheet, or a vocab notebook I could see, but a vocab journal? People even bought beautiful fancy notebooks to write them in. I do say what the f**k? (Hey it worked this time! Ain’t I a good citizen protectin’ da kiddies from “bad stuff”?)
I just wrote mine on a sheet of paper day after day, and it got the job done pretty goodly. But then, I had an epiphany and realized how much I was really missing by not having a real “journal.” If vocab doesn’t keep a journal, no one will no about its exciting world...
Dear Vocab Journal, How can I define today? It was a d-i-f-f-i-c-u-l-t day full of spelling errors and misplaced punctuation marks. Even worse, the terrifying grammar police almost captured my sweet Verb. Is it really such a big deal that “swammed” isn’t a real word? Sometimes I just want to rebel against the grammar police and maybe even use a question mark where I should have a comma. But Verb and I cannot afford to have a funny little red line under our words when using Spell Check. Oh sweet Verb, if he really had been rewritten I can’t think of any adjectives that could properly describe the sadness. Verb and I are getting married down at the Subject Chapel. Can you believe it? Mr. and Mrs. Verb Pronoun? Everybody in Language Town said that my family, the Adverbs, should never intermarry with the Pronouns. But love happens in the strangest sentences. Well, it’s very late so I’d better hit the dictionary. Definitions always (Comma) Vocabulary S. Entence
Isn’t that powerful? I do believe we all have something to think about tonight. I don’t know what that is, but hopefully you’ll go get me a piece of matzah now.
The commode is down the hall,
N-i-c-(h)-o-l-e
Larry King and Don King: Brothers?
AHHHH UGLY PEOPLE ON MY HOT BLOG!!!
(But don't get the wrong idea. It's worth it.) (Maybe...)
I wrote this awhile ago when I was still pondering the subject, but since I have had little time to post here, I thought I would share it with you sweet little people now! Here's the thing:
Yes, in fact they don’t look too much alike, but if you peer closely you may see the familial resemblance.
As I said to my frere the other night, “Sittin’ on the couch are we, Don King?”
He sat there, a bottle of water clutched in one hand, a middle finger pointing uproariously in the other.
“What the heck?”
One would have thought the comment most obvious, I did not in fact believe that he literally was Don King, however I was making an indirect comment about his curly little do. Yes, I know I’m one to talk perhaps, but seeing as we come from the same vine, he also has ‘fro like tendencies.
“Well you’re Larry King,” He said defiantly.
I was taken abounds by this.
Larry King? I thought to myself, that’s even worse! No, not because of his hair, if he really has any, but if you, dear reader have ever laid eyes upon him, his appearance is most atrocious.
Suddenly, it became clear to both of us that pe rhaps these two were more complex than previously surmised. Maybe their names were more than insults... They in fact must be brothers!
Reasons Why:
Well haven’t you figured it out? Perhaps you need your monocle replaced because believe or not... they have the SAME last name! Now if that isn’t proof enough, I don’t know what is.
They have both appeared on television. Not many have, I presume. Two people, who are most likely both male, with the same last name, both on television. (Shockingly enough this has not yet appeared in the news.)
They’re both rich. None us even know either most likely, and yet have heard of them both. How could two people with the same last name find wealth and recognition in the public domain without being related? Impossible.
Both parties are quite odd looking. I could say more, but tonight I am examining the fanciful style of English writing affectations.
I hope your mind has been opened to this utterly undeniable fact.
I know, you feel silly now, but perhaps someday you will become one trillionth as brilliant as I am! Well.... probably not. Good evening!
(But don't get the wrong idea. It's worth it.) (Maybe...)
I wrote this awhile ago when I was still pondering the subject, but since I have had little time to post here, I thought I would share it with you sweet little people now! Here's the thing:
Yes, in fact they don’t look too much alike, but if you peer closely you may see the familial resemblance.
As I said to my frere the other night, “Sittin’ on the couch are we, Don King?”
“What the heck?”
One would have thought the comment most obvious, I did not in fact believe that he literally was Don King, however I was making an indirect comment about his curly little do. Yes, I know I’m one to talk perhaps, but seeing as we come from the same vine, he also has ‘fro like tendencies.
“Well you’re Larry King,” He said defiantly.
I was taken abounds by this.
Larry King? I thought to myself, that’s even worse! No, not because of his hair, if he really has any, but if you, dear reader have ever laid eyes upon him, his appearance is most atrocious.
Suddenly, it became clear to both of us that pe
Reasons Why:
Well haven’t you figured it out? Perhaps you need your monocle replaced because believe or not... they have the SAME last name! Now if that isn’t proof enough, I don’t know what is.
They have both appeared on television. Not many have, I presume. Two people, who are most likely both male, with the same last name, both on television. (Shockingly enough this has not yet appeared in the news.)
They’re both rich. None us even know either most likely, and yet have heard of them both. How could two people with the same last name find wealth and recognition in the public domain without being related? Impossible.
Both parties are quite odd looking. I could
I hope your mind has been opened to this utterly undeniable fact.
I know, you feel silly now, but perhaps someday you will become one trillionth as brilliant as I am! Well.... probably not. Good evening!
Oh Dear!
Oh dear, there’s much to do these days in my way mature adult life! I got to get on the ball so to speak ASAP!!!! It’s collegian (HATE, HATE, HATE that queer little pretentious word,) time!
Letter’s of rec time, applyz tyme nao as well. Plus the peeps who were SUPPOSED to help set me up in the studio for recording that if, this week have disappeared back to stonerville! Grr.... Also I’m trying to finish my own personal business, writing, music, plus starting a tee-shirt dealy on Cafepress.com. Soon, soon, soon. Well, just as they say in the oh so brilliant “We Own The Night”, (or as mom likes to call it We Own The Wild/Into The Night. Think she really wanted to see something else? Yeah, me too...) Well like they say, you can only pee in your pants for so long until you think about a monkey. Damn that movie was lame.
I call it....
We Bone Tonight (cause it sounds better and makes about as much sense as the real thing.)
Starring Joaquin Phoenix with an earring and Mark Walburg looking constipated. Also with Eva Mendes and one of her two friends.
Cop Dude-Oh Joaquin/Booby Bobby you’re such a good chef!
*tear falls slowly.*
Bobby-F*&k! Shut the f&#k up you f^&*((n Russian people! I told you I don’t want to eat any more of your pirogi!
*stuff goes bam*
*People run around dumbly while several 80's songs play for three hours.*
Girlfriend/Eva Mendes-Booby, I uh, mean Bobby, why do you look nothing like your “brother” played by Mark Wallface?
Bobby- *licks boob* Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Other cop dude- Woah, some guy is all bloody.
Bobby- *cries again* I’m gonna pinch you!!!!
Bobby’s Brother- Waaaaaaaaah! Mommy!
Dad Cop- Was that a nice thing to do to your brother?
*Clock ticks for three more hours.*
The End! A “film” by the guys who acted in it and some guy who can’t write!
Yeah, anyway I gotz lotsa important stuff to do!! So go away! (Actually come back, and tell your friends and pay me cause I need money, and give me hug. Well, er not if your that old Russian person from “We Bone Tonight”. ) Yeah, I’m 17 and heading down some kind of road, but I wish the city wouldn’t leave dead possums in it and pot holes and stuff. Maybe I’ll even get out of LA, I mean smogsville, USA. Explore da world... Sheesh. Love yous!
Monday, September 24, 2007
Ode To Cook N' Stuff
Oh, Cook N’ Stuff. That store that sells cooking stuff.... how dear to my heart you truly are. Your overpriced juicer don’t work half as well as they take up space on your counter top.... Or those lovely knifes that look like something that would kill you in a cheap horror flick, (especially if you’re sushi!) They sure do have it all, don’t they? I thought I would take the liberty of advertising some of their wonderful new items, now on sale!
Cook N’ Stuff Stuff You Don’t Really Need N’ Stuff
Deluxe Chef’s Knife Collection
$5,892.79
Knives so sharp they can cut through steel but so small they can also fit in your wallet.
Can-O-Vision
$9,791.23
Why watch television when you can watch Can-O-Vision? The only can opener/TV you’ll ever buy. (Because obviously it’s a piece of shit.)
Bastalicious Baster
$518.52
Have you been a naughty little cook? Our flexible rubber basting brushes come in bright neon colors and look suspiciously like sex toys. Butter me up!
The Honey Thing
$139.96
You know, that wooden thing you only see in pictures of honey? Relive your Whinnie The Poo days one sticky mess at a time.
Thank you, don’t come again!
Friday, September 14, 2007
This Is DRIVING Me Crazy
Okay, people, listen up. You know how the other day I said that I was takin' my drivers behind the wheel whatnot today? Well I did..........
AND I PASSED! Yeah. I am really happy about it but I'd be happier if I wasn't sleep deprived and have my favorite activity in the whole world to look forward to tomorrow... yep, the Suck Ass Test class! Well if I could beat the Demented Mundane Velocity operative, I can probably beat the SAT too... wait maybe not. Hell. Dude. Yeah...
Alright, now I can't rant and rave for 500 pages tonight because it's late and it's not like I'm one of those teenagers in the movies, who actually has fun or something, but I'll share a few key concepts, hehe.
I woke up waaaaay too early and went to da ghetto DMV. It sucked cause I had to wait like an hour sitting in the car. Finally this dude came and we took the test. First he ask me to do right/left HAND signals and I remembered right but that was about it... next we dithered around parking and backing up and turning and crap and there weren't even any cones or fake cardboard cut outs of old ladies with machine guns. So basically we did a bunch of stuff and then he yelled at his GF on his cell phone and he told me how I went over the line when I was turning. (To see, duh.) But he was actually a nice guy and I thought I failed but I didn't! Now I get a new stack of stapled together pages until my licence comes in two weeks-infinity! Yay! I was supa happy. But then I had a french test and I told Sean about it. Then I went to piano. Randall felt pretty bad and I felt pretty depressed. But later tonight, we threw off some party poppers and I wore the streamers on my head because I'm the type of person who's just cool enough to pull that off.
We made terrible juice with pineapple and orange that SOUNDED good, but tasted like bile. We watched some Hawaii footage too. "I'm filming out the window! Pop Goes My Heart! Apple Banana Trash can!" Then we watched on (Oh! The channel for freaky plus-sized stay at home independent bulemic menstrual middle aged women off all nationalities,) the movie "Drive Me Crazy". Or some of it... I don't know, whatever the DVR liked best I guess. Randall wanted us to see it because he thought it was about DRIVING. (Um, no.) You know, it's one of those sorta fun but highly predictable movies from the 90's about teenagers who are for some reason aloud to drive with each other in the car without getting arrested and apparently have no homework and their biggest worry is some dance. Time zone?
I'd trade Debra out for Adrian Grenier as my neighbor any day. Melissa Joan Hart obviously has NO idea what it's like to live next to someone who talks loudly enough on the phone that we can hear her say "No one wants to have sex with me!" AND doesn't share her wireless. Not to mention evil Har-Har (a.k.a. Harold), Da Zoid who has the hots for my dad, and their daughter Damien (well Madeline but she's also satan.) But life is dumb. So it's supa late but I can drive by myself now! No not with friends under 25, no not with Randall, no not at night, BUT I can drive to school myself and save my mom errands. Yeah, I guess I'll miss having a driver a little bit, but somehow I think I'll live. Well.... that is all. Until we meet again Which will be in..... I don't know, what's up with mustard? Huh, huh? Thank you, I'll be here all week.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Da 411
SUPER IMPORTANT BULLETIN:
What to say? I could be doing other things and yet my blog has a receptive magnet buried somewhere in my computer that draws me here once again. Woah, wait a sec.... a magnet inside a computer? Wouldn’t that f*** things up a bit? And that brings me to something else. Why do people insist on putting *’s where letters should be when they’re cussing? It’s not like we don’t know what f*** could be. Is it fold? Is it foot? Or is it fwew? I can’t guess. Just too many words. They should put it on the SAT or something.
Yeah, I hate the Suck Ass Test. For the love of cheese, I’m in college! Why the bloody hell should I take this hard and lamo test for kids who ain’t even in college yet? Yes, I want to transfer. Hey, I could get into UH no prob, I just got back from there too. And some people would say passing that up is nuts! But I’m trying to be a “good girl” and keep my “options” open. Trust me I’ve had many fights with the voices in my head over this very topic and it’s quite a drag to study in the back of a glorified seven-eleven three or more times a week for many hours at a time for only about a bizillion dollars. But math is not my forte and if I want to boost my sub par scores then I guess I have to do this shiznit. So far we’ve had three teachers, excuse me three plus an evil prompter, so that’s four people in our four classes. Our real teacher is apparently keepin’ it incognito or somethin’. (Yeah I say that a lot, sorry.) And don’t get me started on stupid people. They run my school. The office people are evil little nutt butts and half the classes have been duds or conflicting this semester, plus the music program SUCKED. That’s why I dropped it.
Hey, I’m writing my own lyrics and music whenever possible, it’s my life long addiction now, I hope, and I’m starting work on my demo too. But all I do is run around at school, do homework, or go to the SAT thing, and then comes music, plus sleepless nights, and worries about my bro, who has been doing ungood to put it mildly. On a lighter note, I’m planning to tie down and jam gravel up the noses of all incompetent doctors. (A.k.a. 90% of them.) Who’s with me? Okay, okay, I know what you’re thinking, “she’s not all together there”. Well yeah, kinda true, but who is? The whole damn world’s a bloody snow globe full of smog and offices, and oh yeah, tomorrow I get to go to the DMV. (Please see article “Oh Helllllll no!- Demented Mundane Velocity operative.) Yeah, another one of my favorite things to do. But I’m so cool, you wouldn’t even know that my life is insane..... me and my entourage hang out and look cool and try to cut back on sodium, yo! (And if this is hard to follow you may want to take a pop culture/personal experience test to determine whether Doodlinnoodleicken is right for you.)
I got back from Hawaii a little under a month ago and I can say that.... I miss it like crazy!!!!!!! P.S. I want to give a shout out to my friends out there in the big HI, thanks for reading my blog guys! Never forget that I’m still jealous of you! Can’t wait to go back there. So pretty, such good smoothies........... I saw my home dogg Orlando Bloom out there gettin’ bombed in Waikiki. Of course, I tried to take his pic or at least ask for an autograph but hotel security people decided to divert me from my doings and I missed him in the elevator. I’ve taken a liking to the Hawaiian music and culture and stuff, so I bet you can imagine how freakin’ weird ass LA felt when I got off the plane. No one told me “Mahalo” for coming, and when I said “E Komo Mai” to the guy at baggage claim he just stared. “No Zippy’s?” I asked. At least I got to see my little popokis again. Cali ate most of my window plants, and Jesse had extreme ADD. I went to school, made my room nice and messy and DVR’d stuff for the few times I’ve actually watched stuff.
I'm Learning jazz chords on piano so I can rock it more in style.... and I’m working a lot on crap I don’t want to do.... and I’m still managing to blog it all up! I also DVR’d “Idiocracy” and it was kinda funny, and shockingly realistic of how the world is NOW.
“Welcome to the time masheen! We’ll take you back, first to the year 1939 when Charlie Chaplin and his Nazi regime tried to take over the world!” I love that scene. Look it up on YouTube or something. Yes, I still have dial-up because Debra the dork next door won’t share her wireless and we’ve yet to set up DSL. Oh ye-ah! Oh and speaking of things to watch on YouTube or something... my videos! If you watch “Lost” you’ll definitely get a kick out of my “Season Four First Look”. Links coming soon when blogger isn’t f*********** up, (the other problem with *’s is you have to count how many letters it would be...) For now just type in “wildwoodflower16" and you’ll find my stuff.
Weee! It’s Random Thoughts Time!
When I was on the islands, I got bit by so many critters. A swarm of mosquitos, stepped on an urchin, a centipede, spider, man-o-war was a bit much. I’m on the Big Island and I step near the surf, not even in it and this giant thing hurls itself onto my bare leg. It’s pumping poison into me and I’m screaming trying to shake it off, and everybody at the beach is just staring at me like it’s a freak show or something. I got bit by a big ass one too and got a big peachy swollen ankle. Later that day I felt pretty sick from it and kept falling asleep, but my family wouldn’t let me take so much as a nap like I had a concussion or something. Well, critters aside, I loved Hawaii. GO KAMA’AINA DISCOUNT!
On the television subject , in a movie called the “Adventures of Sebastien Cole” the karate scene is hi-larious. Chop suey, superhero! Rewind it times three. Yeah, I barely know what I’m talking about either. You should see me when I’m caffeinated. Wowww. Speaking of films, I’m working on my film-making. I actually really love doing it, and I might make my own real short films someday. (I’m already working on some.)
Yes, I know I have an empty “Lost” blog, I’ll fill it sometime when I can but it was a whim we had once, a long, long, time ago. My family and I are such “Lost” freaks that we actually have action figures now. Sawyer says “There’s nicer ways to wake a man up freckles” and “I’m a complex guy, sweetheart!” Go fish biscuits!
Do you think anyone actually watches the “Emmy’s”? I mean, I guess some people do but come on! Lame...... In other news, Jesse bit through my phone line today so I’m using the short one.... come on people, you all everybody, stupid people 4 8 15 16 23 42. I want to be your superhero. Hey man what are you gonna do with your life? I dunno get a hair cut, pay taxes, die. I can get you a job flipping burgers. No thanks. Kay, got to go, but I talks to you later, alrighty? The tabloids say, I’m gonna kick your ass!
I love you!
Thanks you for shopping at Costco.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Hi, Everybody! (Hi, Dr. Nic)
'Ello. I am in Hawaii now creating havoc way across the sea. If you're wondering what that is, well the sea is something like the ocean. You get there in a plane that smells and is full of screaming babies, fat guys, and movies where the worst cuss word is "son of a duck!". I'm going to school and doing errands constantly and going to the beach constantly. First I went to Maui... which I don't have pictures for yet because they were captured by the others. Now that I am here in Honolulu, I decided that I would document my normal everyday life. I hope you find it very educationalistic.
Dis be my braddah R. He puts on his shoes and den goes out for a night on the town!
'Ere he is... waiting for the other shoe to drop!
Our hang-out in da ghetto our ABC store you lolo!
Here I iz lookin' super bad ready for some funnnnnn!
And Randall says..
No shutter bugs, yo!
Cause we are like celebs in da hood.
In the Honolulu!
It ain't just the pigeons that rule the roost, or the beach bums....
IT BE US!!!!!!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
"Lost" and Confused!
Do you ever have one of those days where like stuff is so wack, that ya can’t even hear the voices in your head? Yeah? Well me too!
I can-not believe that I ain’t even been on here in like forevers. That’s just because someone around here stopped time. But luckily I found a way to turn it back on. (Too bad you can’t just get a clapper for that, huh?)
Now, everybody talks all cool like don’t they? Ya know what are da kids into these dizzays? I should know for real but it be da summer time, fool! I plum, hee-hee, forgot to do a May entry, I probably coulda, but I plum forgot. No, I didn’t apple forget or banana forget or grape forget. Like I said I plum forgot.
If it makes you feel n-e betta, I iz a film maker now. I made like ten really wicked videos, but I could only upload the shortest ones because like several other people in 2007 America, I have dial-up still. Hey, don’t just stare at me like I sez I still use cassettes or somethin’. I’m just old school cool is all I’m sayin’. But the point is, I will have high-speed access dis coming summer time yo, cause I got like dis connection of the ‘net over in the ‘Lu! No, not that type of “lu”. I mean the Honolulu, for real. I’m makin’ myself a little cameo over on the University of HI, Manoa campus in week or two. Yea!
I been busy with my other schoolin’, and I ain’t foolin’. (Okay I won’t quit my day job.) (As if I had one, haha.) I been workin’ at SEALAB once again ya know, hangin’ with my favorite lobstas and crabs, and takin’ care of the wee plants out back. I did some finals, too. Stress? As-if. Okay, there was some stress, but that’s the way of the whatever. I went out to Julian, I did, I went all about in ma new CAR! Which I DRIVE. And they all say, they says to me, “That’s a pretty sweet ride.” And I say, “Hell yeah it’s cool, and better yet it was on sale!” So it makes up for the fact that I is technologically challenged in da house. But it doesn’t matter.
iTunes is having a bit of a fight with me right now, see it doesn’t want me to listen to music, I mean who’da thought iTunes was for music? The people at the store sure seemed surprised to learn that! “Well see, we’d like to help you... er...uh... we could... but let’s just say.... we’re not going to....” Basically since I got a PC it’s like screw me. But they never said that it would not compute with dee little podzilla thingy. They’re part of The Others, I am sure of it. And that reminds me, have you seen Sawyers hair lately? I mean bloody hell brother, you’d look waaaaay better if ya just washed it. I mean Sayid washes his hair. And all of y’all are supposedly on the same island. I keep feeling like “Lost” in a sea of overpriced sandwiches and bad coffee and the mess of the room, I live in it, I mean it’s kind of like the hatch but easier to get into, the music is almost as weird, but not quite.
I chill up in PV (dats short for Palos Verdes, yo) and I pretends that I’m da awesomest club memba of Trump Golf, yo! I use the bathrooms there and drink ice tea and there’s this sign with Trump on it saying “He’ll be glad to see me on the course.” And it’s soo obvious that he’d probably scream if he saw ME on the course. Probably because I’m so cool and all, not really a memba, but it might have something to do with the fact that my bro and I we were chanting, “4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42...” over and over and people were asking among themselves “Is it performance art? Crazy people? A show?” hahahah. And singin’ “You All Everybody” And this weird lady with a funny blue sparkle hat looked at us like “I do say, WTF?” A parasail dude came dangerously close to my head and that’s when I thought to myself, what if Hurley is like right about the numbers? But then I remembered that it’s just a show? Or is it....
People are so freakin’ annoying, I mean they are mean to you, then they misunderstand you, then they point and stare, then they come at you with pitchforks speaking in tongues, what is wrong with the world today? Too much ADD medication, too much ED? And if “Happy Bob” tells me his *woooooooooop* is thankful about Makeitstandhopefullywithoutexplodingyourwangenal just one more time.... I’m gonna prescribe
his ass off the planet!
I wish Jack was my doctor, he’s all cool, you know unless you’re having a baby or anything then you’re on your own. Oh right, that’s something from “Lost”. Can you see why I’m confused? They made my life into this bizarre show! They films in ma hang-out first of all, (H-I yo!) But the freaky thing is they know all this stuff that happens in my life. Just the other day, I was on my way to the store when I was running through the jungle and I shoot a polar bear trying to steal my parking space and so I stop to make a crib out of rendered animal fat and bamboo but sadly I tripped over the hatch. So I never got to get any soy-burgers and stuff, it sucked. Then I see almost the same thing of it on TV and I’m like, hey ain’t that like cheating or something? So yes, “Lost” IS a reality show. But it’s more easy to be obsessed with something when it’s so close to reality. I mean, so close... it’s scary.
But you know who I probably don’t want on the show anymore is Joaquin Phoenix. See I was thinking of all these people who could be on the show, you know, for like more people, but anyway... The thing is cause Sayid would probably just kill him or they’d fight over the liquor or some crap and then Walt would say “Why can’t I drink the sea water?” and everyone would stare blankly. But I don’t know, at least he’s visible unlike Jacob, (who is really my brother Randall... looooong story, but I’m afraid I can’t tell you that anyway.) The bottom line is why the hell does anyone want to see “Transformers” it’s a movie about toys that turn into other toys.
I was watching “Entourage” in my hatch the other day and I was thinking what would it be like if “Lost” and “Entourage” were a dual-series? Adrian Grenier could be really useful because unlike Sawyer, he seems to wash his hair. I don’t want you to think that I’m bashin’ ma main home dog Sawyer, it’s just when he pull back his hair he looks like a samurai or something odd. But I have to hand it to him for making even more weird bargains than me, (which is also based on my life), because I have NEVER started a sentence out loud without the words “I got a proposition for ya”. Sigh... I wish they’d stop ripping off my life!
But my company, VIDEOTHING, (Very Important Demonstrative Experiment of The Human Initiative Negotiation Gah), has a secret video that will answer many questions! (Or possibly just trigger many deep-laden brain disorders.) Whatever the matter do check it out... you must. Hahaha. Anyway, peace out fo now. I needed to cross this blog off my list of things to mind this week. Because of course it is very, very, very, very, very, very, very important! Just stop acting like stupid people wearing expensive clothes! You All Everybody!
VISIT:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2MkHkbgzik
Come on, brother, or you'll blow up the bloody hatch! Oh right, it already blew up.
4 8 15 16 23 42 4 8 15 16 23 42 4 8 15 16 23 42 4 8 15 16 23 42 4 8 15 16 23 42 4 8 15 1 6 23 42
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Previously Recorded Material
I thought tonight before I went to bed, I would share some previously "recorded" unreleased material of mine from various forms and venues. All rights reserved!! Would you like some macaroni and Kraft Brand all rights reserved TM copyright cheese?? FINE! As long as you read this entry of bizarre and bad pieces I've written. And yes! They are supposed to be like that! Geez...
This is a poem just for YOU! Whoever the hell you are...
You are the coolest thing since sliced bread!
It is so awesome that you are as awesome as you are!
Wow it is in fact quite extraordinary that anyone could possess the magic of ten thousand sharper image chairs!
Or the whimsy of a sand castle covered with sea weed!
But the sand crabs do not hide the beauty of your lovely eyes
That sparkle like diamonds on the edge of a trash can.
And if love were a bunch of rotting banana peels and diapers
I surely would be the happiest garbage collector in town.
Because I love your trash.
What a marvelous consumer you truly are.
Wasting and using.
The energy of a pimped out car,
The elevation of a really big billboard,
A fat guy singing!
A bird cawing loudly on the light pole.
A magical unicorn dancing across a movie screen for an anti-smoking ad
And all the half dead cowboys with tracheotomies
That is how freaking cool you are.
This next 'song' was featured on the very lovely www.mycathatesyou.com
It is an extraordinary hit entitled "Oh f**k I Dripped Mustard On My Shirt" I think it was covered by all the cool people but now you know where it really came from! My deep, deep, stupidity!
Oh F**k I Dripped Mustard On My Shirt
Life can be so complicated
When things seem to come regurgitated
From the tip of a yellow bottle
Oh, f**k me
Yes siree
I spilled some mustard on my shirt
Oh f**k
There goes that mustard dripping from the corners
Of my tortured mind
Life is just a sandwhich
And not every value meal comes with napkins
To tidy up the drippings
Of a hard long day
Oh F**k
Will I ever learn
That mustard was spicy and left a burn
A yellow spot
My favorite shirt
Oh f**k again,
I dripped mustard on my shirt
And finally....
A poem that isn't as bad as the others that I wrote in honor of the coming season!
Summertime
No more radiant than the blooms
following the month of June
when the flowers have nodded
And drfited from their fileds
And the summer heat is strong
And the days last so long
And the nights are filled with song
Summertime
What happened to the summertime
Summertime
It comes after
the winter and the cold
And the spring when nothings old
Summertime
Summertime
Summertime
Danke Schoen! Y'all come back! Don't just stand over there staring all the time! My shoes DO NOT stink! Anything can be a color if you try hard enough to make it so! I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM! Well... if I do, what's the problem with a problem anyway? It's only if your problem causes you problems that it becomes a problem!
In conclusion... random thoughts
The sunset thing for astronomy is dumb... but the sunset tonight was pretty.
Why do people never call me... I always have to call them
"I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed...."
Cali I love you
Even frogs think I'm too cool 4 school
Trump Golf has a nice beach
Beach!
NOOOO Spring Break is nearly done!
But it CAN'T BE!
A Twist of Fate Makes Life Worth While!
~Great Success~
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Let's Make This One For The Cats!
Liza sez: YOU cannot enter the zone. For I command the frequency! By the way, have you washed the rugs yet today, I really have to go... wait who are you? Get away from me!!
Cali sez: Polyphonic supersonic, man! The Christmas tree pine
needles taste a little funny. How fabulous do I look?
I am the most beautiful cat in Cali-fornia. Hey, watch
out for Liza... she uh... doesn't smell right. But JMK?
He is the man!
Jesse sez: Your soul belongs to me!!! I am captain of the den, duke of the dining room, commander of the litter box! Plus the cutest kitty in the city... booya!
Hello.... I have been told by a mister J. Moreno that everyone in North America is now required to sleep in a cardboard box looking adorable with your whiskers poking everywhere. Well, honestly I'm very tired. I wanted to post some pictures of my cats because I want to post them elsewhere online and I figured blogger would be faster than an image hosting site. So please prepare for an overload of freaky cuteness kitty cat style thanks to Cali, Jesse, and possibly Liza the Crazy. Although... at the rate these are taking to load you may just be seeing a blank page....
UPDATE: This is night two of the expedition. We nearly lost our technology. I think everyone is still onboard. Do you read? A little too much cat nip? We laugh in the face of danger! We scratch up the rugs! We help you out, not letting you sleep in too late, biting your toes at four AM! We chase and play and ACT cute when in fact we are only disguising the most obvious fact that we rule! We are the cats!
P.S. Juicy plums, sir?
Monday, March 5, 2007
March, Indeed
It is March, isn't it? Well isn't that an interesting coincidence. About this time last year, if I so recall it was also March.
March. What an interesting word. Like to march unseen through the bleakness of life only to find your one true calling at an unexpected moment in the complex parallels of sub-reality. Hmm, it makes one wonder if the plastic frog sitting on your alarm clock will come to life and march away on its own, by itself a suddenly independent life form. But how can this be? Well for one I regret to tell you all that I have just been to the dentist and that strange flavored tooth paste they use gives me the uncanny ability to obtain the understanding of many untold prophecies. The frog you ask? Why he was once a 'prize' at the dentist's office until suddenly I rescued him from his incessant turmoil.
Life is not easy. It is not only because I am strange. You must remember the writings of this web- log. Or 'blog' as a few prefer to call it contains the absurdities of every day life... well maybe not every day life, but usually at least every few weeks when I am tired/bored/have the rare free time to be a weirdo or need a place to collect my thoughts before proceeding with my doings for the rest of the 24 hour lunar cycle.
I am hoping for this March to be a strong one, a solid one. For those who are close to me, they know this has not been an easy time, of late for me and for my family. We are hoping that we will be able to march into the right direction and that by Flag Day, we will have amazing and highly positive stories of the past months to tell. I feel a strange sensation to tell you about school, people I know, things I've done, but I guess if I ever wrote in it again that would be for my other blog.
This blog has not been all fun and games, however. In fact as I am speaking to you, although you cannot hear me, I am using a very serious tone, rather somber as if I were making some sort of low budget documentary about the five year old pillow under my bed that I forgot about until just this very moment. The blog has proven very precarious and temperamental. It has committed several travesties against me. For one, the google account has been very hard to use, hard to leave comments, hard to log in, hard to use. Second my sainted picture of Joaquin picking up his lost change continually disappears. Why is this you ask? Well... I don't know. But the point is that is the only picture I could have possible used for that post under any circumstances. Isn't it quite obvious? Have you ever seen a more exemplary example of a change search? I thought not. Third, my computer is very slow, I have lots of work to do in the 'real world', whatever that means, and I have been preoccupied. It is all a big conspiracy. Yes, I think so. A conspiracy of infinite proportions. Why does the cafeteria look like it hasn't been dusted or given a new carpet since 1972? Why does anything ever happen? Why do people look like other people? Why do the cats slurp so loudly? Why do I have a headache? Why are the stupidest things the most intriguingly curious. NO. I am NOT nuts. Seriously. I swear I do not have a problem... uh.... have to go. The Cars are trying to hijack my house. Noooooooooo. Je ne comprends pas!
Saturday, February 10, 2007
And I heard Somethin' Going Strong It Musta Been A Drum...
Today I met some talking trash cans at the beach. They lifted their lids and cursed at me and talked and said hi and asked me for trash. I am going to make a documentary about their private lives and I need YOUR help. If you have an interesting trash can who has been through a lot or is hoping to make its big break, you're my man. The film will be called "Cans". (Hope that doesn't remind you of something from the past.) The cans need a say in the world today. They are also scary and dangerous. (They could close on you!) It reminds me of a creepy thing like maybe a creepy movie almost. Can't you just picture cans walking around and talking maybe with little shoes on, like red clown shoes and stuff with little glued on googly eyes?
Ooh and the jukeboxes! They can be extras. They too have a lot to say. They play all day. Now I walked into this honkey-tonkey just the other day and I was just putting my coin in this jukebox just to hear it play. You know how it is, I didn't have no tune in mind I didn't wait to choose.... but then! I heard somethin' going strong it musta been a drum. But this guy in like the song, he cut loose on the steel guitar and the jukebox ran away! I mean it was flyin' you shoulda seen it go. On its little shoes a-dancin' all around and talking... so anyway that will be in there too! I hope I don't get sued by the trash can agency for delving in all personal and junk. But this a world that must be SEEN AND HEARD. That means you too, jukeboxes. No need to be blue. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Peace out. Updates will occur when next available. (Copyright 2007) Oh, and don't try to steal the top secret movie ideas. It's already happenin.... wooooooooooooo. Spooky man.
Friday, February 9, 2007
If I Were An Insect With Eight Legs....
Thanks a lot, Ross. It's all YOUR fault Spiders are trying to take over the world!
If I were and insect with eight legs... would you scream like an idiot and leap up wildly? Yes. And Yes again. I had a close call the other day. You know, sometimes you just gotta be brave in your line of duty. And that means risks. It all started watching a strange movie I call "Commandments". It's a good movie, however it does involve someone coming out of a dead whale and then just afterwards without showering, making out with another person. However this is all well and good, or so it may have been if not for The Spider. Lying quietly thinking my thoughts, watching the movie, with a cat at my side, I felt a little ticka ticka crawly crawly on my arm. I thought this was none other than the whiskers of Cali close by. However I looked down and saw instead a humongous black shadow heading down my forearm. "Arrrrgggghh!" I shrieked with terror. Cali ran away, sheets flying everywhere... the neighbor next door murmured audibly to her houseguest, "Did you hear THAT?" Quite distraught I ran and sought the help of a fellow member of my dwelling who with much effort managed to aid me in locating said beast as it attempted to hide and then later kill me.
After The Spider was out of my room I still felt uneasy. What if there were more spiders? What if there were MANY more spiders? That was a close call. Somehow I made it through the night and it seemed at least for the time being... that I was safe from the clutches of spiderdom. However, as I am writing this and glancing nervously towards my bed I fear I may be provoking the wrath of the unsuccessful spider. Will it be back? Will it attack AGAIN? Only time will tell....
Oh, Hellllll No!
I sense a conspiracy. The root of evil you ask? Why the DMV of course! They want you to think it's just a place to get your driver's license and to talk about crap that has to do with your car. But NO. That is not it AT ALL.....
First they force you to wait in a long line with little electronic voices saying ridiculous things such as "F18-41" and "window 23, window, 23..." It's like The Hatch on "Lost". It's only a matter of time before... kaboom! I just know The Others are in charge of the "DMV" or as I like to call it, the Demented and Mundane Velocity-operative. They trick you with their confusing questions! Blue backgrounds on a black and white picture! Dirty pencils! Cars... that follow pre-programmed commands.
Oh come now! Haven’t you seen the movie "Cars"? Those things DO NOT want humans driving them, they follow no rules! They want to annihilate us all! But I say, oh hellllll no! Not on my watch. I am so gonna woop those driver test permit things. The cars may be alive and have minds of their own but how do they reproduce? Do Sally and Tow-Mater ever get it on? I DON'T THINK SO. Why you ask? Because it's a G-Rated movie! So that means... they have to get old... and then it's only a matter of time before they rust! And their air-conditioners stop working! And then what?? They will have no choice but to surrender to the humans.
The DMV may not be run by humans, but humans do come there. The thing that is quite perplexing is... do humans ever leave again? Or do their cars simply drive away... WITHOUT THEM. This problem is perhaps quite challenging and frustrating for me. How can I beat the super-human-mighty-morphin-mutant-car test? There is a will and I am almost 100% sure there is also a way. Whatever that might be I will find it and will succeed. Am I going to cry and wail and say "I didn't pass the super-human-mighty-morphin-mutant-car test"? Never! (And besides I already did that several hours ago!) Now. Is. The. Time. To. WIN. And I shall. Perhaps... with some additional knowledge... in eight days...
You win for now Car People! But this battle is FAR from over! Mwahahahah!
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Ooh, Sigh!
You know expired food right? Well let me tell you... expired is not a good thing. We got this thing here at my house I like to call it Snack Mountain. There's soda, water, chips, and nuts. And its all piled in a spare recycling bin. We looked through it tonight and found about 40 expired cans of root beer. Over a year expired. And we don't even buy root beer anymore. We dumped 'em all and filled our recycle thing up with cans! And there was old beer and gatorade and we, my brother and I that is, got it all over our hands and clothes. Yuck! Ooh, sigh what a job! We organized the cabinets and found year expired vegetable stock. (Ew. I didn't even know we bought that!) And I cleaned out our hanging basket thingy and there was old rice and crap. Dang! I hope that never happens again. Oh and in our fridge there was an apple that was all rotten. I say, if it's still leave it lay, but if it walks, run away! Nothin' like nice squishy mutant fruit.
Randall is doing pretty good for someone who just had teeth pulled. He ate some non-expired soft eggs and a smoothie. I had some pasta. (That was not expired.) At the store they have all this weird stuff like meatless meat and sausage flavored muffins or something. I keep asking if we can just TRY some Tofurky. It's turkey flavored they say! They have it all there, non-dairy cheese, meatless meat, tofu burgers and soy tacos! But the answer is always that I'll hate it and it's expensive and why buy THAT? But I like soy milk and I have some soy crisps but they taste funny but I still want to buy Tofurky because I'm tired of eating just Turkey all the time. Then they ask why I want to be a vegetarian and it is too much trouble and if you don't feel good protein sources like chicken or something are much lighter and easier to eat. That's not to say Tofurky isn't good I just don't know yet because I haven't bought any. But maybe I will. As long as it's not expired.
But wow if I could make dinner again. Oh I should! I make great salads and sandwiches and things like that and crackers! But ooh, sigh. Well Spring semester starts in a few days and driver's ed and my midterm thingy and stuff so there's much to do. And I am sad because Randall has WAY more celebrity autographs than me because celebrities like him and my only autograph from Fritz Coleman who isn't even THAT famous I gave to him but I wish I hadn't. He has one from these jazz guys and Harrison Ford, and Sacha Baron Cohen, and Rosanne Cash, and ME! (Because he wanted one from me but I'm not even THAT famous probably less than Fritz Coleman.) So I should challenge him if ever I find the time and write to all these people and ask them for autographs. But I don’t care that much anyway but it's good to write your feelings because you can't hide from your feelings and I should write in my other blog again because people will think I’m nuts and dumb from reading here but that's the point! My other blog is just what I've been doing and stuff but I haven't updated it. I will! Oh Country Fried Home Videos is so funny! And tonight Lost is on but I'm tired and not that much TV for me but I guess Lost because why not? It's Lost! I love you people but it depends who you are, maybe I don't if you aren't my friends but if you ARE then of course I do! So anyway by. Ooh, sigh I am tired. Great Success!
Randall is doing pretty good for someone who just had teeth pulled. He ate some non-expired soft eggs and a smoothie. I had some pasta. (That was not expired.) At the store they have all this weird stuff like meatless meat and sausage flavored muffins or something. I keep asking if we can just TRY some Tofurky. It's turkey flavored they say! They have it all there, non-dairy cheese, meatless meat, tofu burgers and soy tacos! But the answer is always that I'll hate it and it's expensive and why buy THAT? But I like soy milk and I have some soy crisps but they taste funny but I still want to buy Tofurky because I'm tired of eating just Turkey all the time. Then they ask why I want to be a vegetarian and it is too much trouble and if you don't feel good protein sources like chicken or something are much lighter and easier to eat. That's not to say Tofurky isn't good I just don't know yet because I haven't bought any. But maybe I will. As long as it's not expired.
But wow if I could make dinner again. Oh I should! I make great salads and sandwiches and things like that and crackers! But ooh, sigh. Well Spring semester starts in a few days and driver's ed and my midterm thingy and stuff so there's much to do. And I am sad because Randall has WAY more celebrity autographs than me because celebrities like him and my only autograph from Fritz Coleman who isn't even THAT famous I gave to him but I wish I hadn't. He has one from these jazz guys and Harrison Ford, and Sacha Baron Cohen, and Rosanne Cash, and ME! (Because he wanted one from me but I'm not even THAT famous probably less than Fritz Coleman.) So I should challenge him if ever I find the time and write to all these people and ask them for autographs. But I don’t care that much anyway but it's good to write your feelings because you can't hide from your feelings and I should write in my other blog again because people will think I’m nuts and dumb from reading here but that's the point! My other blog is just what I've been doing and stuff but I haven't updated it. I will! Oh Country Fried Home Videos is so funny! And tonight Lost is on but I'm tired and not that much TV for me but I guess Lost because why not? It's Lost! I love you people but it depends who you are, maybe I don't if you aren't my friends but if you ARE then of course I do! So anyway by. Ooh, sigh I am tired. Great Success!
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
The Mystery of The Missing Change
How much longer are you going to look for your lost change?
Do you ever wish you had more change? Like are you ever just a few cents short of a soda or something? For example... today at school I really wanted to buy a granola bar. They cost seventy-five cents a pop. So I look through my bag and I find two quarters right away no problem. Then I find a dime. Yay! So then I look around, shake it all about lalala finally a nickel, and then another nickel. My wallet is empty because I bought something last week. But then a surprise... three pennies! Right in there. But the problem is I need two more cents.
I thought of saving my efforts to acquire the granola bar but somehow I just KNEW if I looked hard enough I could find it. So I look on the ground and under a bench and I find a penny! Then I go to the store and take a penny from the Take A Penny Leave A Penny Tray. Luckily for me... there was no tax. SO then as a good girl as I am I went to the bathroom and washed my hands and sat down on some bench and ate my granola bar but now I need to find some more change because everybody knows that at one time or another they might just want a bottle of water or maybe a Coke or maybe a new pencil or paper or something like that.
Anyway sometimes I find money in my jeans and it goes through the washer and I then I can't find it again. I KNEW I had some spare change in my jeans but then where did it go? Then I realized that it went in the washing machine. So I got it and it was really clean, it even smelled good. But I'm fine, it's not like I HAD to have that granola bar and all... OR DID I??? That's the mystery of it. I always lose my change but when I least expect it... AHAH! There it is... not always quite enough but maybe it's good that they invented change and all so that it gives you something to lose in your pockets and helps your counting skills.
Anyway I always see change on the ground but it's always a penny and my hands or full or the ground is dirty or something so I rarely pick it up. They say you only should pick it up if it's heads up. You know like that game you play in grade school "Head's Up Seven-Up"? I don't remember the point of that game but the important thing is that has something to do with change. Wait no it doesn't. I'm tired. I bet if the family knew I was on the computer being a little dork they'd say "get off". It's funny... I never have time for crap 'cept at night and that's only some days but why do this when I could do anything else? Hmm... I dunno. Anyway I think it's very mysterious how change is always lost or found or something like on the ground or maybe in your jeans but anyway the point is you should always pay in bills in exact change or maybe just not buy anything because it's overpriced at the school store. Always remember to TIE YOUR SHOES. (Cause otherwise you might trip.)
I wonder if Joaquin ever found his change. It's funny I don't remember that part of "Walk The Line" when he's looking for his change so maybe it's a deleted scene or maybe that really happened in real life and someone happened to capture that exact moment. I always feel bad for people who lose things because that happens to me like everyday. Oh, you know I just thought of something, if you have NO change but cash then you can ask for change. Wait! Then you can pay in cash. I guess no one ever told Joaquin that. Shame. Respek y'all.
Friday, February 2, 2007
Are YOU One of The Carters?
Fernando, age unknown (right). Piano girl who has never heard of The Carters (left).
Are YOU one of The Carters?
Take this quiz:
1.)Where is your ideal vacation spot?
a.) A tropical island
b.) A lake
c.) A resort
d.) The Wildwood
2.) What is most dear to your childhood?
a.) A bunch of old toys and crap
b.) The old park
c.) Your house
d.) The little brown church in the dale
3.) Where do you live?
a.) The U.S.
b.) Novosibirsk
c.) Mars
d.) My Clinch Mountain home
4.) What kind of disorder do you have?
a.) OCD
b.) Acid Reflux
c.) Restless Legs Syndrome
d.) One of a 'nervous nature'
5.) What is your last name?
a.) Smith
b.) Davis
c.) Carson
d.) Carter
6.) Which movie has the most relevance to you?
a.) 8 Mile
b.) The Day The World Ended
c.) Barney's Big Adventure
d.) Walk The Line
7.) What's your favorite flower?
a.) Daisies
b.) Roses
c.) Lilies
d.) Wildwood Flowers
8.) What is your favorite type of eggs?
a.) Scrambled
b.) Hard-boiled
c.) Over-easy
d.) Sunny Side Up
9.) Would you rather...
a.) Wax your legs
b.) Climb a tree
c.) Watch the tele
d.) Sing and play various instruments with several other of your immeadiate family members
10.) What is your favorite mythical creature?
a.) Lochness Monster
b.) La Chupacobra
c.) Pikachu
d.) Ole Slewfoot
Okay... if you answered mostly d's you are probably one of the Carters.
Wildwood Flower
Can The Circle Be Unbroken
East Virginia Blues
My Clinch Mountain Home
Wabash Cannonball
Keep On The Sunny Side
Church In The Wildwood
Juke Box Blues
Foggy Mountain Top
Anchored In Love
Ring of Fire
Okay... which member of the Carter Family is credited with writing which song?
a.) A.P.
b.) June
c.) Maybelle, Helen Anita
d.) Sarah
e.) Other
If you can answer all of these... you really need some help. Maybe even more than me because not even I can answer some of them.
We asked people on the streets which Carter they were most like.
Fernando said...
"A.P. I am very musical in nature but more importantly my mother was struck by lightening during her pregnancy with me. Go figure. Although, I am much more normal than him. See? See my normalness?"
A unknown girl said...
"I have never heard of the Carter Family. In fact I have never made any plans to visit the Carter Family Fold located in scenic Hiltons, VA."
Google says.... 517,000 matches found for your query.
Alright 517,000 matches.
That's just people looking in right?
Okay now multiply that time the number of results for "Johnny Cash"
Okay that's like a bizillion.
Okay now that is a lot of people that are related to Johnny Cash or The Carters.
Now Google Nicole...
WOW! That's like a buttrillion.
She's a doctor, a lawyer, an actress, a teacher, a volleyball player and several dead people.
She MUST be one of THEM.
JUST KIDDING.
See you in Jackson.
Bye.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
That Guy's A Perv!
Yes. It is true. Statues and wooden carvings SEEM innocent enough but it is a LIE. I have met many of these individuals and I can say FIRST HAND that they are nothin' but evil perverts!
There was even this one pirate that tried to pick an argument with me. I said "Arr, matey but ye be pickin' the wrong buccaneer to mess with!" He backed down after that.
One of the worst was this cowboy. He and his buddy (probably on their way to go "fishing") sat down on this bench next to me. I did not like his look. Not one bit. He was a fashion terrorist if I ever saw one. His hat? So last year. I knew when he asked me if I watched "The E" that he was one of those uber lame small talk weirdos. But I gave him the evil eye. I noticed that his buddy had a FUR hat. "Fur is murder cow poke!" I began. "Oh and dorky called. He wants his hair style back." Wanna know how to get rid of a pervy pirate or an uncool cowboy? Show 'em who's boss. Yee-haw. You heard me. Never. I repeat never let yourself become another victim of inanimate harassment. They probably have wooden brains and that's why they are so dumb and have bad fashion sense. Great Success!
Welcome to The Surreal Deal...
Great Success! I am now welcoming you to The Surreal Deal. A scrapbook blog documenting the strange but true or strange and untrue but still amusing bits and pieces of this mortal coil. Questions you have always wanted answered but were afraid to ask will be addressed here.
What is the weirdest face a person has ever made? Can a statue have a mind of its own in the right circumstances? What celebrities are actually cool? What are the best places to eat, stay, play your guitar, and punk people? Is it safe to eat Tofurky? What is the best way to obtain '80's style clothing? What song by The Carter Family best sums up my personality? Be unafraid my friends... you have truly found the right place.
Unlike my other blog, www.http://littlesplashofcolor.blogspot.com this page has no particular meaning or point so if you really want to learn about my doings I suggest reading there first. As you well know, I can be quite demented at times but wise, wise indeed. This is a haphazard but interesting environment.
The Surreal Deal is a fun place, an uber cool place. In fact one might state that it is the roxxors! Great Success! You have found the secret of life! Come and view absurdities, talk about things, stuff, and other topics. Also I will share some personal poetry and stories as on my other blog. My blog is your blog. Rock on!
What is the weirdest face a person has ever made? Can a statue have a mind of its own in the right circumstances? What celebrities are actually cool? What are the best places to eat, stay, play your guitar, and punk people? Is it safe to eat Tofurky? What is the best way to obtain '80's style clothing? What song by The Carter Family best sums up my personality? Be unafraid my friends... you have truly found the right place.
Unlike my other blog, www.http://littlesplashofcolor.blogspot.com this page has no particular meaning or point so if you really want to learn about my doings I suggest reading there first. As you well know, I can be quite demented at times but wise, wise indeed. This is a haphazard but interesting environment.
The Surreal Deal is a fun place, an uber cool place. In fact one might state that it is the roxxors! Great Success! You have found the secret of life! Come and view absurdities, talk about things, stuff, and other topics. Also I will share some personal poetry and stories as on my other blog. My blog is your blog. Rock on!
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