I Do Say, What The Fuck?

Uh-oh! I forgot to sensor my title! No! Now the sensor committee thing is going to b&^%p out A!! Th* norm&l word$ and d#stroy my bl0g. Don’t you just love America? Haha...

‘Ello sweet reader person/people or cat/dog/secretary/hermaphrodite/food product/magazine coupon/parking lot police

Time to learn! I recently took the SAT and am still good n’fresh on my vocab! I thought everyone, (or no one judging by the number of hits I’ve gotten,) could stand to be enlightened with marvelous marvels of the English language. That’s right!

And by the way, these words are copyrighted! So you can’t use them without paying me a thousand dollars first! And for the record, I used all of these words in class so they’re pretty damn spiffy. And to be fair, most of the fancy words I used to impress others were real, so I actually are a genius! Hee-hee.

B-U-T... I is also creative. Hell yes. A creative inventor I is. So enjoy reading my “not fake at all” vocab journal words.

Chronogilate- The obsessive need to label events in the order that they occurred.

D.P.U.C- Directional protection unit commission.

Humlick- A traffic delay surrounding a roundabout.

Subgrenier- The lower levels of a house and or building below the attic.

Binafilism- A puzzling phrase of terms.

Nundenation- A negative situation.

Well, I know y’all feel smarter now that you have read these definitions. One thing had been bothering me about them for a long time though. What the hell is the point of a vocab journal anyway?! I mean a vocab sheet, or a vocab notebook I could see, but a vocab journal? People even bought beautiful fancy notebooks to write them in. I do say what the f**k? (Hey it worked this time! Ain’t I a good citizen protectin’ da kiddies from “bad stuff”?)

I just wrote mine on a sheet of paper day after day, and it got the job done pretty goodly. But then, I had an epiphany and realized how much I was really missing by not having a real “journal.” If vocab doesn’t keep a journal, no one will no about its exciting world...

Dear Vocab Journal, How can I define today? It was a d-i-f-f-i-c-u-l-t day full of spelling errors and misplaced punctuation marks. Even worse, the terrifying grammar police almost captured my sweet Verb. Is it really such a big deal that “swammed” isn’t a real word? Sometimes I just want to rebel against the grammar police and maybe even use a question mark where I should have a comma. But Verb and I cannot afford to have a funny little red line under our words when using Spell Check. Oh sweet Verb, if he really had been rewritten I can’t think of any adjectives that could properly describe the sadness. Verb and I are getting married down at the Subject Chapel. Can you believe it? Mr. and Mrs. Verb Pronoun? Everybody in Language Town said that my family, the Adverbs, should never intermarry with the Pronouns. But love happens in the strangest sentences. Well, it’s very late so I’d better hit the dictionary. Definitions always (Comma) Vocabulary S. Entence

Isn’t that powerful? I do believe we all have something to think about tonight. I don’t know what that is, but hopefully you’ll go get me a piece of matzah now.

The commode is down the hall,
N-i-c-(h)-o-l-e

Larry King and Don King: Brothers?

AHHHH UGLY PEOPLE ON MY HOT BLOG!!!
(But don't get the wrong idea. It's worth it.) (Maybe...)



















I wrote this awhile ago when I was still pondering the subject, but since I have had little time to post here, I thought I would share it with you sweet little people now! Here's the thing:

Yes, in fact they don’t look too much alike, but if you peer closely you may see the familial resemblance.
As I said to my frere the other night, “Sittin’ on the couch are we, Don King?”
He sat there, a bottle of water clutched in one hand, a middle finger pointing uproariously in the other.
“What the heck?”
One would have thought the comment most obvious, I did not in fact believe that he literally was Don King, however I was making an indirect comment about his curly little do. Yes, I know I’m one to talk perhaps, but seeing as we come from the same vine, he also has ‘fro like tendencies.
“Well you’re Larry King,” He said defiantly.
I was taken abounds by this.
Larry King? I thought to myself, that’s even worse! No, not because of his hair, if he really has any, but if you, dear reader have ever laid eyes upon him, his appearance is most atrocious.

Suddenly, it became clear to both of us that perhaps these two were more complex than previously surmised. Maybe their names were more than insults... They in fact must be brothers!

Reasons Why:
Well haven’t you figured it out? Perhaps you need your monocle replaced because believe or not... they have the SAME last name! Now if that isn’t proof enough, I don’t know what is.

They have both appeared on television. Not many have, I presume. Two people, who are most likely both male, with the same last name, both on television. (Shockingly enough this has not yet appeared in the news.)

They’re both rich. None us even know either most likely, and yet have heard of them both. How could two people with the same last name find wealth and recognition in the public domain without being related? Impossible.

Both parties are quite odd looking. I could say more, but tonight I am examining the fanciful style of English writing affectations.

I hope your mind has been opened to this utterly undeniable fact.
I know, you feel silly now, but perhaps someday you will become one trillionth as brilliant as I am! Well.... probably not. Good evening!

Oh Dear!

Oh dear, there’s much to do these days in my way mature adult life! I got to get on the ball so to speak ASAP!!!! It’s collegian (HATE, HATE, HATE that queer little pretentious word,) time!

Letter’s of rec time, applyz tyme nao as well. Plus the peeps who were SUPPOSED to help set me up in the studio for recording that if, this week have disappeared back to stonerville! Grr.... Also I’m trying to finish my own personal business, writing, music, plus starting a tee-shirt dealy on Cafepress.com. Soon, soon, soon. Well, just as they say in the oh so brilliant “We Own The Night”, (or as mom likes to call it We Own The Wild/Into The Night. Think she really wanted to see something else? Yeah, me too...) Well like they say, you can only pee in your pants for so long until you think about a monkey. Damn that movie was lame.

I call it....

We Bone Tonight (cause it sounds better and makes about as much sense as the real thing.)

Starring Joaquin Phoenix with an earring and Mark Walburg looking constipated. Also with Eva Mendes and one of her two friends.

Cop Dude-Oh Joaquin/Booby Bobby you’re such a good chef!
*tear falls slowly.*
Bobby-F*&k! Shut the f&#k up you f^&*((n Russian people! I told you I don’t want to eat any more of your pirogi!
*stuff goes bam*
*People run around dumbly while several 80's songs play for three hours.*
Girlfriend/Eva Mendes-Booby, I uh, mean Bobby, why do you look nothing like your “brother” played by Mark Wallface?
Bobby- *licks boob* Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Other cop dude- Woah, some guy is all bloody.
Bobby- *cries again* I’m gonna pinch you!!!!
Bobby’s Brother- Waaaaaaaaah! Mommy!
Dad Cop- Was that a nice thing to do to your brother?
*Clock ticks for three more hours.*
The End! A “film” by the guys who acted in it and some guy who can’t write!

Yeah, anyway I gotz lotsa important stuff to do!! So go away! (Actually come back, and tell your friends and pay me cause I need money, and give me hug. Well, er not if your that old Russian person from “We Bone Tonight”. ) Yeah, I’m 17 and heading down some kind of road, but I wish the city wouldn’t leave dead possums in it and pot holes and stuff. Maybe I’ll even get out of LA, I mean smogsville, USA. Explore da world... Sheesh. Love yous!