Yes. It is true. Statues and wooden carvings SEEM innocent enough but it is a LIE. I have met many of these individuals and I can say FIRST HAND that they are nothin' but evil perverts!
There was even this one pirate that tried to pick an argument with me. I said "Arr, matey but ye be pickin' the wrong buccaneer to mess with!" He backed down after that.
One of the worst was this cowboy. He and his buddy (probably on their way to go "fishing") sat down on this bench next to me. I did not like his look. Not one bit. He was a fashion terrorist if I ever saw one. His hat? So last year. I knew when he asked me if I watched "The E" that he was one of those uber lame small talk weirdos. But I gave him the evil eye. I noticed that his buddy had a FUR hat. "Fur is murder cow poke!" I began. "Oh and dorky called. He wants his hair style back." Wanna know how to get rid of a pervy pirate or an uncool cowboy? Show 'em who's boss. Yee-haw. You heard me. Never. I repeat never let yourself become another victim of inanimate harassment. They probably have wooden brains and that's why they are so dumb and have bad fashion sense. Great Success!
