Oh, Cook N’ Stuff. That store that sells cooking stuff.... how dear to my heart you truly are. Your overpriced juicer don’t work half as well as they take up space on your counter top.... Or those lovely knifes that look like something that would kill you in a cheap horror flick, (especially if you’re sushi!) They sure do have it all, don’t they? I thought I would take the liberty of advertising some of their wonderful new items, now on sale!
Cook N’ Stuff Stuff You Don’t Really Need N’ Stuff
Deluxe Chef’s Knife Collection
$5,892.79
Knives so sharp they can cut through steel but so small they can also fit in your wallet.
Can-O-Vision
$9,791.23
Why watch television when you can watch Can-O-Vision? The only can opener/TV you’ll ever buy. (Because obviously it’s a piece of shit.)
Bastalicious Baster
$518.52
Have you been a naughty little cook? Our flexible rubber basting brushes come in bright neon colors and look suspiciously like sex toys. Butter me up!
The Honey Thing
$139.96
You know, that wooden thing you only see in pictures of honey? Relive your Whinnie The Poo days one sticky mess at a time.
Thank you, don’t come again!
2 comments:
Hee!! That was funny. I've actually had one of those honey things. All they do is make a drippy, sticky mess.
Good post.
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