Previously Recorded Material

I thought tonight before I went to bed, I would share some previously "recorded" unreleased material of mine from various forms and venues. All rights reserved!! Would you like some macaroni and Kraft Brand all rights reserved TM copyright cheese?? FINE! As long as you read this entry of bizarre and bad pieces I've written. And yes! They are supposed to be like that! Geez...


This is a poem just for YOU! Whoever the hell you are...

You are the coolest thing since sliced bread!
It is so awesome that you are as awesome as you are!
Wow it is in fact quite extraordinary that anyone could possess the magic of ten thousand sharper image chairs!
Or the whimsy of a sand castle covered with sea weed!
But the sand crabs do not hide the beauty of your lovely eyes
That sparkle like diamonds on the edge of a trash can.
And if love were a bunch of rotting banana peels and diapers
I surely would be the happiest garbage collector in town.
Because I love your trash.
What a marvelous consumer you truly are.
Wasting and using.
The energy of a pimped out car,
The elevation of a really big billboard,
A fat guy singing!
A bird cawing loudly on the light pole.
A magical unicorn dancing across a movie screen for an anti-smoking ad
And all the half dead cowboys with tracheotomies
That is how freaking cool you are.



This next 'song' was featured on the very lovely www.mycathatesyou.com

It is an extraordinary hit entitled "Oh f**k I Dripped Mustard On My Shirt" I think it was covered by all the cool people but now you know where it really came from! My deep, deep, stupidity!

Oh F**k I Dripped Mustard On My Shirt

Life can be so complicated
When things seem to come regurgitated
From the tip of a yellow bottle

Oh, f**k me
Yes siree
I spilled some mustard on my shirt

Oh f**k
There goes that mustard dripping from the corners
Of my tortured mind

Life is just a sandwhich
And not every value meal comes with napkins
To tidy up the drippings
Of a hard long day

Oh F**k
Will I ever learn
That mustard was spicy and left a burn
A yellow spot
My favorite shirt

Oh f**k again,
I dripped mustard on my shirt

And finally....
A poem that isn't as bad as the others that I wrote in honor of the coming season!

Summertime

No more radiant than the blooms
following the month of June
when the flowers have nodded
And drfited from their fileds

And the summer heat is strong
And the days last so long
And the nights are filled with song
Summertime

What happened to the summertime
Summertime
It comes after
the winter and the cold
And the spring when nothings old
Summertime
Summertime
Summertime

Danke Schoen! Y'all come back! Don't just stand over there staring all the time! My shoes DO NOT stink! Anything can be a color if you try hard enough to make it so! I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM! Well... if I do, what's the problem with a problem anyway? It's only if your problem causes you problems that it becomes a problem!

In conclusion... random thoughts

The sunset thing for astronomy is dumb... but the sunset tonight was pretty.
Why do people never call me... I always have to call them
"I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed...."
Cali I love you
Even frogs think I'm too cool 4 school
Trump Golf has a nice beach
Beach!
NOOOO Spring Break is nearly done!

But it CAN'T BE!

A Twist of Fate Makes Life Worth While!
~Great Success~

Let's Make This One For The Cats!

Liza sez: YOU cannot enter the zone. For I command the frequency! By the way, have you washed the rugs yet today, I really have to go... wait who are you? Get away from me!!



Cali sez: Polyphonic supersonic, man! The Christmas tree pine
needles taste a little funny. How fabulous do I look?
I am the most beautiful cat in Cali-fornia. Hey, watch
out for Liza... she uh... doesn't smell right. But JMK?
He is the man!















Jesse sez: Your soul belongs to me!!! I am captain of the den, duke of the dining room, commander of the litter box! Plus the cutest kitty in the city... booya!






Hello.... I have been told by a mister J. Moreno that everyone in North America is now required to sleep in a cardboard box looking adorable with your whiskers poking everywhere. Well, honestly I'm very tired. I wanted to post some pictures of my cats because I want to post them elsewhere online and I figured blogger would be faster than an image hosting site. So please prepare for an overload of freaky cuteness kitty cat style thanks to Cali, Jesse, and possibly Liza the Crazy. Although... at the rate these are taking to load you may just be seeing a blank page....


UPDATE: This is night two of the expedition. We nearly lost our technology. I think everyone is still onboard. Do you read? A little too much cat nip? We laugh in the face of danger! We scratch up the rugs! We help you out, not letting you sleep in too late, biting your toes at four AM! We chase and play and ACT cute when in fact we are only disguising the most obvious fact that we rule! We are the cats!

P.S. Juicy plums, sir?

March, Indeed

It is March, isn't it? Well isn't that an interesting coincidence. About this time last year, if I so recall it was also March.

March. What an interesting word. Like to march unseen through the bleakness of life only to find your one true calling at an unexpected moment in the complex parallels of sub-reality. Hmm, it makes one wonder if the plastic frog sitting on your alarm clock will come to life and march away on its own, by itself a suddenly independent life form. But how can this be? Well for one I regret to tell you all that I have just been to the dentist and that strange flavored tooth paste they use gives me the uncanny ability to obtain the understanding of many untold prophecies. The frog you ask? Why he was once a 'prize' at the dentist's office until suddenly I rescued him from his incessant turmoil.

Life is not easy. It is not only because I am strange. You must remember the writings of this web- log. Or 'blog' as a few prefer to call it contains the absurdities of every day life... well maybe not every day life, but usually at least every few weeks when I am tired/bored/have the rare free time to be a weirdo or need a place to collect my thoughts before proceeding with my doings for the rest of the 24 hour lunar cycle.

I am hoping for this March to be a strong one, a solid one. For those who are close to me, they know this has not been an easy time, of late for me and for my family. We are hoping that we will be able to march into the right direction and that by Flag Day, we will have amazing and highly positive stories of the past months to tell. I feel a strange sensation to tell you about school, people I know, things I've done, but I guess if I ever wrote in it again that would be for my other blog.

This blog has not been all fun and games, however. In fact as I am speaking to you, although you cannot hear me, I am using a very serious tone, rather somber as if I were making some sort of low budget documentary about the five year old pillow under my bed that I forgot about until just this very moment. The blog has proven very precarious and temperamental. It has committed several travesties against me. For one, the google account has been very hard to use, hard to leave comments, hard to log in, hard to use. Second my sainted picture of Joaquin picking up his lost change continually disappears. Why is this you ask? Well... I don't know. But the point is that is the only picture I could have possible used for that post under any circumstances. Isn't it quite obvious? Have you ever seen a more exemplary example of a change search? I thought not. Third, my computer is very slow, I have lots of work to do in the 'real world', whatever that means, and I have been preoccupied. It is all a big conspiracy. Yes, I think so. A conspiracy of infinite proportions. Why does the cafeteria look like it hasn't been dusted or given a new carpet since 1972? Why does anything ever happen? Why do people look like other people? Why do the cats slurp so loudly? Why do I have a headache? Why are the stupidest things the most intriguingly curious. NO. I am NOT nuts. Seriously. I swear I do not have a problem... uh.... have to go. The Cars are trying to hijack my house. Noooooooooo. Je ne comprends pas!

And I heard Somethin' Going Strong It Musta Been A Drum...

Today I met some talking trash cans at the beach. They lifted their lids and cursed at me and talked and said hi and asked me for trash. I am going to make a documentary about their private lives and I need YOUR help. If you have an interesting trash can who has been through a lot or is hoping to make its big break, you're my man. The film will be called "Cans". (Hope that doesn't remind you of something from the past.) The cans need a say in the world today. They are also scary and dangerous. (They could close on you!) It reminds me of a creepy thing like maybe a creepy movie almost. Can't you just picture cans walking around and talking maybe with little shoes on, like red clown shoes and stuff with little glued on googly eyes?

Ooh and the jukeboxes! They can be extras. They too have a lot to say. They play all day. Now I walked into this honkey-tonkey just the other day and I was just putting my coin in this jukebox just to hear it play. You know how it is, I didn't have no tune in mind I didn't wait to choose.... but then! I heard somethin' going strong it musta been a drum. But this guy in like the song, he cut loose on the steel guitar and the jukebox ran away! I mean it was flyin' you shoulda seen it go. On its little shoes a-dancin' all around and talking... so anyway that will be in there too! I hope I don't get sued by the trash can agency for delving in all personal and junk. But this a world that must be SEEN AND HEARD. That means you too, jukeboxes. No need to be blue. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Peace out. Updates will occur when next available. (Copyright 2007) Oh, and don't try to steal the top secret movie ideas. It's already happenin.... wooooooooooooo. Spooky man.